For this post I will discuss my peer review for Pj's project 3 standard essay.
- PJ Noghrehchi's rough copy of his standard essay, "Serenading at the University of Arizona: A Promotion of Rape Culture or A 21st Century Expression of Entertainment for All?"
-The activity I performed is content suggestion for his rough copy.
-There are some grammatical errors, but this is a draft, so I'm sure you will catch those.
I agree with PJ, it's an exaggerated measure to take them away, but I've been hearing that the total frat move article had discrepancies and that there isn't a ban on the serenades, except that they are being changed in someway. I don't know the facts though, for sure.
Coming from my own opinion and being in a sorority and just being a girl, I think his line "The article goes on to say how it is more of the culture of these serenades that could trigger traumatic memories of sorority girls during chapter" could be more truthful if changed it a little... Do you think that the Panhellenic board/council believes the serenades could trigger memories of 'traumatic experiences' (sexual assault?)? Or is it that the council believes the men are dancing provocatively and making girls uncomfortable, which isn't exactly upholding greek values. But I get why he wrote that, if he is trying to show that the council is in fact being drastic/overreacting. Just make sure the facts are correct
-The activity I performed is content suggestion for his rough copy.
-There are some grammatical errors, but this is a draft, so I'm sure you will catch those.
-I liked his honesty and the personal insight/experience, you can tell he uses his own knowledge along with research to affirm his position. It makes him sound more credible. It's something I can take from him because it's easy to get caught up in the research and articles on controversial arguments and question your stance on things.. also I think he should totally harp on the fact that the sorority girls are not forced to go to serenades, so yes, if anyone is uncomfortable they don't need to go, or they can leave! Good point!
Coming from my own opinion and being in a sorority and just being a girl, I think his line "The article goes on to say how it is more of the culture of these serenades that could trigger traumatic memories of sorority girls during chapter" could be more truthful if changed it a little... Do you think that the Panhellenic board/council believes the serenades could trigger memories of 'traumatic experiences' (sexual assault?)? Or is it that the council believes the men are dancing provocatively and making girls uncomfortable, which isn't exactly upholding greek values. But I get why he wrote that, if he is trying to show that the council is in fact being drastic/overreacting. Just make sure the facts are correct
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