I performed a peer review for Alex Vergara in my section for the final project.
Audience Question: How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?
"I love the topic :) .. You introduce logic with quotes and statistics, and emotions are seen by your personal anecdote; they both make you credible. I like the example in sports, but my only suggestion would be to add another example or two that bolsters your argument, perhaps from a corporate business women, or from a perspective in the business world. Good job! "
I think I helped Alex because my suggestion would not only add some length to her essay, but add more supporting evidence for her side of the argument and make it more entertaining for her readers, it will also broaden the audience by mentioning women in the business world, not just the sports world.
I admire how concise and straight-forward her writing and style is. I tend to write too many ideas and get lost, not knowing how I should organize my paragraphs or what to cut out. She did a great job with sticking to her argument and using solid points in a linear fashion.
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